Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment, just a regular check up, but she did give me results from what my ultrasound showed. The placenta has moved up, so I no longer have placenta previa. I pretty much already knew that from what the ultrasound tech told me yesterday, but its nice having it confirmed. The ultrasound tech did not note anything about my bleed, she said everything looked normal. So from that, my doctor is assuming it is gone. I did another test while I was there, it tests for spinal problems. I am waiting for those results. I gained 4 pounds since my last appointment, I was pretty sure that was going to be too much in my doctor's opinion, but it wasn't. I have only gained 7 pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy, so she said I am still good. I have another check up January 14th. But, I go for a level 2 ultrasound on January 7th. It is even more detailed than the ones I have had, and I think I may get to see her in 3D. We have decided on a name, we have had it picked out since Landon (this would have been his name is he was a girl)... Natalie Rowan.

LANDON IS GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE SISTER!!!

The appointment today went great, the baby still appears to be very healthy. She is measuring 8" long and 6 ounces. Her heartbeat was 150 beats per minute. She was super active and moving around like crazy, just like her last ultrasound!! During the ultrasound we were able to see her playing with her umbilical cord and her knees. At one point her hands were in front of her face playing around. When it was time to find out if it was a boy or girl I did make my mom leave the room. I was going to make sure Charlie was the first to know! From what the ultrasound tech said my placenta has moved up and away from my cervix. A doctor has to look at my ultrasounds, but I think that my placenta previa may be gone. I see my doctor tomorrow so she can tell me more.

After my appointment I had to wait 3 hours to tell Charlie. Then finally I told my mom and went on a shopping spree at Carters. I got so many adorable outfits for my little girl! Grandma paid :) Then we went and bought scrapbooking supplies, I'll be busy with all of her ultrasounds!!

We are so happy to be having a girl. We knew all along that we would be given whatever we were suppose to have. Having a boy right now would probably be too hard, but we are so excited to be having a daughter.

Side profiles (her head is on the right)

Side profiles (her head is on the left)Side profile (her head is on the left) Her hands are in front of her face
Looking straight down on her face (her face is on the right)

It's a girl!!

Her heartbeat

Last night was the Angel of Hope ceremony at Landon's cemetery. There were so many families there to remember their children. Everyone was given a teddy bear on their way to their seats. The teddy bears name is Nicolas.

It started off with music and an opening prayer by Rev. Thomas Davidson. Then they welcomed everyone and a poem was read by Christine Ross called "The Angel Cried". She wrote the poem after one of her many visits to the Angel of Hope. It was a beautiful poem, she talked about being there so often and knowing the Angel was watching over all the children, and one day seeing the Angel cry and she realized that all the times it had rained, it was really Angels crying. I know the next time it rains I will be thinking of this poem, and probably every time it begins rain. Then Brad Hansen read "We Remember Them" which we all participated in, then Karin Gunderson sung "Lynnie's Song" by Jana Alayra. After that they had a memorial roll call and white flower presentation. They said every child's name, and every family was given a white rose to place on the Angel of Hope. Then we were all given candles to light, and they turned off the lights in the parking lot so all we could see were the flames from the candles. Karin Gunderson sang "One More Day" by Diamond Rio, and if anyone has every really listened to the words, you'll understand why there were not very many dry eyes. After that was the closing prayer, and then we all read out loud, Prayer of Faith, here are the words...

Prayer of Faith

We trust that beyond the absence;

There is a presence.

That beyond the pain;

There can be healing.

That beyond the brokenness;

There may be peace.

That beyond the hurting;

There may be forgiveness.

That beyond the silence;

There may be a word.

That beyond the word;

There may be understanding.

That through understanding,

There is love.

Then it was over and everyone was able to visit, and we all went to see Landon. We took lots of photos.

This is something that I definitely want to attend every year no matter where we are living, it was a very special way to remember Landon.

The Grandmas, Uncle Jesse, his girlfriend Charlene, and Mommy

The Grandmas and Mommy
Grandma and Grandpa Smith and Mommy
The Grandmas, Grandpa, Uncle Jesse, and Mommy

Landon's grave with our candles

And another

Our candles with all of Landon's Christmas presents

Angel of Hope

Landon's plaque on the wall

Landon's plaque close up

And another

Mommy and the Angel of Hope

Nicolas the Teddy Bear

My mom got Landon another present for Christmas, I went out this week to put it on his grave. She got him to blue and white snowman. I love this snowman, I think it is perfect for a baby boy!

Also, this past Wednesday my dad had surgery on his neck. The doctor removed shredded disc material. Also, he removed bone spurs (caused when your bones start to try and grow together). Then he fused the 6th and 7th vertebra. He put pins in them, and also put a bracket in the front of his throat. He did fine, and was not even in too much pain after the operation. By Friday he shocked everyone and went to work!!

Landon's snowman

All of Landon's presents
My dad at work on Friday

And a close up!

The doctor's office called yesterday with the results from the baby's testing. They were negative... thats good :) The doctor had already told me the NT (nuchal translucency) measurement was ok in the back of the baby's head, we were just waiting on the blood test results. With this testing they see if there is a risk of chromosomal abnormalities, congenital heart defects, or any other genetic disorders. These tests are not 100%, but even so, me and Charlie are very happy with the results, and very relieved!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS LANDON

Today I went with my mom and dad to Landon's grave. We wanted to leave some Christmas presents for him.

There was something about today that made it much harder for me to visit him. I go visit Landon a lot, and usually I am fine. But today it was more emotional, leaving him Christmas presents, and decorating his grave was never how I pictured my baby's first Christmas. Even though I know Landon will have a beautiful Christmas in heaven, it does not make it any easier not having him here with me and his daddy.

Landon's grave decorated for Christmas

Grandma and Grandpa Smith gave him the poinsettia

Landon's stocking, it says Baby's First Christmas 2008

From Mommy and Daddy

Landon's Christmas tree
From Mommy and Daddy

Landon's mail box

From Great Grandma and Grandpa McClurgTeddy Bear

From Mommy and Daddy

Santa

From Mommy and Daddy

When Landon passed away my grandpa gave me pennies to put into Landon's casket. And I'm sure many of you know about pennies from heaven... Well we have been collecting them ever since, and surprisingly have only found a few. Charlie is saving his, and when I see him I will add them to the collection we have. I made a container to keep all of Landon's pennies in. Here is a poem that I came across and it is perfect...

A Penny

Found a penny today

Just laying on the ground,

But it's not just a penny

This little coin I've found.

Found pennies come from heaven

That's what my Grandpa told me,

He said Angels toss them down

Oh, how I loved that story.

He said when an Angel misses you

They toss a penny down,

Sometimes just to cheer you up

To make a smile out of your frown.

So don't pass by that penny

When you are feeling blue,

It may be a penny from heaven

That an Angel's tossed to you.

Landon's penny jar

Landon's pennies

Last night was the Holiday Remembrance Ceremony at Hansen. My family was there and so was Charlie's. During the ceremony there was music performed by a harpist, and it was beautiful. One of the owners, Craig Hansen, spoke as well as Rev. Smith and Father Muir. There was a memorial roll call and ornament giving which was really special. They called the name of each person that passed away, and then their family went up and one person hung the ornament on the Christmas tree. Of course that was me :) After the ceremony they took the ornaments off and we were able to take them home. This was not a depressing ceremony, it was something that was meant to comfort the families. I enjoyed being there, and am so glad Hansen put something like this together. After the ceremony there were refreshments outside for everyone. Mima brought presents for Landon, and if you look at Frosty you will notice he only has one eye... Just like Landon. And thats how she bought it!! How perfect! Also she bought us 2 statues which are of our family, and I love them! They are already out and on display.

On December 14th there is a ceremony for the Angel of Hope. This is something that Hansen does once a year, and it is only for the children that have passed away. All of our family is invited to attend.

The Christmas Tree

My mom, Mima, and me
Landon's ornament on the tree

Presents for Landon from Grandma Mima Close up

Frosty

Frosty and James

Grandma Mima and Uncle Jesse added some ornaments to Landon's tree

From Mima

(Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Landon)

From Mima

(Mommy and my 2 babies)

I absolutely love this!!

Today my mom went with me and we decorated Landon's tree for Christmas. It looks pretty, it is simple, but I really like how it looks. Hopefully nobody will steal his ornaments, but if they do we have extras. His plaque is not there yet, but it should be soon.

I scheduled my ultrasound today, and it will be December 16th. Then I see my doctor the next day so she will be able to tell me if my placenta previa and the bleed is any better. I can't wait until the ultrasound so I can find out if its a boy or girl. My mom has already told me we will be shopping that day :)

Also, I ordered buttons for my family to wear when we go to the Holiday Remembrance Ceremony for Landon.

The button...

It says Spending Christmas With Jesus This Year 2008

Me hanging Landon's first ornament
Pretty star
My mom hanging an ornament

Close up

Landon's tree

My mom with his tree

Me with his tree